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I’m tired, when will this end ?


Eyilayomi - October 21, 2019 - 5 comments

I posted this in July but then I deleted it because I was so reluctant in sharing it, I felt so horrible about myself and a lot of other things, I didn’t want anybody to know how I was, so I just kept it all to myself. I checked and I saw it was in my draft and I decided to share it again, this time without deleting it. I wish I could hug the girl I was a year ago or a few months ago, and tell her everything will be fine.

I’m in a place where I would not have imagined myself in, at the beginning of this year but I guess life happens and we don’t have control over some certain things. I don’t know where this is going to but this is me trying to express how tired I am.

I’m in school, I don’t want to be in school, why am I in school? 😩 I had plans for my summer and this wasn’t part of it. Probably one day soon, I’ll come back to this, laugh and thank God but right now I’m blank.

I just really want things in my life to get better, so much better.

I have cried so much this year, so many reasons but one of the many was when my final year result for first semester came out and I saw I failed two courses, more so it was the same lecturer that taught both courses 😩 I was so sad and broken cause it meant I would have to come to school July/August to rewrite the exam which obviously wasn’t for free. I remember praying to God hoping it was some sort of mistake. I even hoped that I’d check my result again and see that it had changed. Haq Haq Haq, I went to meet the lecturer with my classmates with similar problems, but she wasn’t having it.

Unfortunately, that was my last hope…

I cried every day repeatedly for a week. I had to stop to prepare myself for the next semester the second semester, to avoid adding to the ones that were already there. It was so hard, I saw people around me happy and rejoicing about their results I wanted to be them so badly.

I remember talking to a friend of mine about it and then she said: “Eyi it’s a failed course, not a failed life, you’ll get to write it again and you’ll do amazing.”

I held on to that and I hoped for the best.

Never a failure, always a lesson – Rihanna

I know things will get better, I’m just really tired of the way things are right now.

Please check this, It does get better

Eyilayo ✨🍫

5 comments

  1. My girl, I always told you ‘you’ll do amazingly well’ God loves you and you’re very special ❤️

  2. I came late to this party but then it eventually didn’t end in tears…. Guess who’s a graduate now? You.

    This is just for guys out there who seemingly fail at whatever they’re doing. Just remember some of the most successful people in the world have had some of the biggest losses in the world.

    Always get up and move on!!!! Try again till you make it…

    See you at the top 👋

  3. […] how it wasn’t easy but I survived blah blah” but post like that are so corny to me, 🤭 I’m tired, when will this end? I wrote about it here gratitude is a must anyway, I’ll just try to keep it cool. So […]

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