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Skinny Shaming is as real as you and me.


Eyilayomi - December 3, 2020 - 55 comments

I have been skinny my whole life, I was always one of the smallest in my class, right from primary school.

I remember how much I used to get bullied cause of my stature and I thought as I got older I’ll get bigger but no I was still always small.

I was very quiet too, so it was easy for me to be bullied.

I remember wishing I had an elder brother that would fight for me. When it got so bad I will report to my mum and she would come to school the next day to report to my class teacher then she (my class teacher) would sanction the person but I got bullied again for reporting.

“So you went to report me abi, you’ll see what I will do to you.”

Omo

It was a struggle.

Secondary school was when we were just becoming teenagers and so it was a lot worse, you’re being called Tboard, Flat-screen TV, Broomstick, Toothpick, Mop stick…

I got used to it, as much as I wanted to rub it off and act like it was nothing, it got to me.

It’s important to note that everyone’s feeling is valid, shaming anyone whether skinny, fat, short, tall… on the things they cannot control about themselves is very wrong, it’s never a joke.

People are different and so are our bodies.

Anytime I get compliments on my body it’s always,

”You know you should be a model”

because models are known to be super skinny.

Funny how of all the things I have always wanted and still want to be, being a model isn’t one of them.

Probably just a face model, I’d like that.

If there’s one thing I’m tired of, it is explaining to people why my body is the way it is.

If there’s anything I have been intentional about it is gaining weight, I have tried all that I can do.

I used to weigh 45 for the longest time, recently it got to 53 well there’s progress, it’s rather slow but there’s progress.

I’m here to tell you that what you unconsciously think is funny about people’s weight causes harm and most times it leads to depression.

Things you should stop saying to Skinny people.

1. Do you eat?

Did you say eat???

“What size are you again, size 2 or 4 right”

“I thought you’d be bigger than this.”

“Are you sick?”

“You look 14.”

Questions like this, I’m always so clueless on how to reply. I don’t get it.

Stop making people feel insecure about the things they cannot control about themselves.

2. You should eat more.

Oh wow really? I didn’t know this.

Most of the skinny people I know eat a lot so I don’t think this helps.

I used to take multivitamins to gain weight, it’ll work for the time I’m taking it, then I’ll go back to square one when it’s done.

Wahala 😂

3. You better eat so you don’t break.

Why don’t you mind the business that pays you or direct that energy into something else 🤷🏾‍♀️

Most times I’d want to volunteer to help someone carry something then they start with

”don’t worry let someone else do it so you’ll not ”break”

How sweet🥰

4. Why are you starving yourself?

It’s funny how people think I’m starving myself with food, if you know me, you will know I’m always thinking of food.

I can’t wait to be able to afford my own personal chef 😍

5. Real women have curves.

Real women have curves so their men will have something to hold on to.

What will he hold on to?

Bones b, Sexy bones.🙈

“All people who identify as women are “real” women, regardless of shape, size, or the number on the tag in their jeans.”

I feel people have their specs, which is fine. So go for what you want, please.

At the end of the day, all that matters and all that we want is that the person we choose chooses us back.

6. Are you dieting?

With the kind of body I have it’s easy to conclude that I’m dieting, which I don’t even pay attention to.

I have gotten so much comments on my body that I started to think something was wrong with me, it was until I started making friends and meeting people who could also relate to it.

If you make any unsolicited comment on my body then be ready for whatever reply I give especially after I have told you, I don’t like it and then it continues with, “why, but are you not small?” “You too eat more, if don’t like your body then work on it, is it not to eat.”

Ughhhhhh.

Feelings are valid whichever way you want to see it.

Stop making people feel insecure about the things they cannot control about themselves.

My friend Busola inspired me to write this. ❤️

“Every piece of you is a burst of beautiful.”

Okay? Okay.

Thank you for reading.

Please make comments on it.

Eyilayo 🍫✨

55 comments

  1. Faithful Ojo

    Perfect, just perfect

    I think most of this Body Shaming thing come from (us) guys, and they always claim to mean no harm, that’s just being ignorant, it’s high time they knew words are so strong and not everything should be joked with or better still, they should try to add an inch to their third leg.

    • Aw, some part from men then the insecurities starts to build up.
      ”words are so strong and not everything should be joke with.”
      Thank you Faithful for reading and the comment. ❤️

    • Oghenekome Agha

      Skinny shaming is a thing. I remember being told I’ll won’t be able to attract a man cos I am skinny.
      Let’s not even talk about the ones that ”say don’t you eat.” It’s exhausting

      • It is a thing and I wish people would pay attention more and be a lot more sensitive.
        With that question, I’m never sure on how to reply.
        It’s so exhausting.
        I’m sorry. I know with time it’ll get better 💛

  2. I can relate to every single thing you mentioned here 😂
    This was such an interesting read, I was laughing because of your reactions.
    Bruh, skinny shaming is real and it’s sad no one gets it. Yeah, we have models and actresses representing us in the media so of course there’s the skinny privilege but most don’t realize how depressing it can be trying to fit into society standards.
    Not like it’s our fault for being skinny. I hate being reminded to eat well so I’d add weight, like I’m not doing my best 🙄
    Telling me the wind is gonna blow me away because of how fragile I am.
    And mehn guys should actually stick to their spec, imagine a guy who likes ass calling me flat ass everytime. Bruh, go meet your spec and leave me alone 😂
    Fighting this insecurity has been hard but one thing I know is whatever decision I make, it’s to make myself happy not conform to society standards.

    Thank you for writing this piece. It’s beautiful and warms my heart🥰

    • Anonymous

      I can actually relate to this.
      It annoys me cause you except the female gender to even know more, but they still body shame regardless.
      “Every piece of you is a burst of beautiful”
      Ouuuuu😍😍
      Loveet

    • 😂😂 I’m happy you found humour in it.
      People always talk on the privileges I don’t think I have experienced it so much.
      Trying to fit in into society standards, it’s so exhausting.
      They just don’t get it, I hate it too cause I’m honestly making effort.
      That wind one is funny 🤣😂
      Meet your spec and leave me alone but No they’d want you but in a body of someone else.
      Yes, self love and making yourself happy.
      That’s it cause people will always have opinions and there’s nothing that would change it.
      Thank you for inspiring me to write it.
      I love you❤️

  3. victor oladewa

    Love your body💯.
    That’s what really matters.

  4. Faithy

    Awwwwn, this was really fun to read and thank you for addressing this . I also get this a lot but I just learnt to outgrow it , it’s not easy tho but I kept pushing. Thank youu for thisss.
    More progress babyyyy

    • Ayyy, thank you💃🏿💃🏿
      It’s annoying how something will be hurting you but you have to turn a blind and tough skin.
      I really hope people learn to be a lot more sensitive.
      Thank you for reading babbyyyy❤️

  5. This is so relatable, many comments about my body has gotten to me and affected my self esteem and over the years I got really self conscious about my body.

    I wish people (especially men) would shut up and stop the unwarranted body remarks, yes I’m short, thin and have a small butt, tf do you want me to do about that?

    • It’s so annoying cause all those demeaning statements are so hurtful and you try to ignore but it doesn’t make it stop.
      People should just learn to kind and sensitive, not everything should be joked with.
      I love your body Mo and don’t let stupid people get to you❤️

  6. Sijuwade

    A lot of people need to read this💪🏽…. body shaming is not funny even when you think it is. People should just let other people be.👏🏽

  7. Anonymous

    I can totally relate with this I’ve been shamed since forever I could remember but this year I started learning how to love my body but it’s hard, sometimes I just want to crawl and disappear.

    • I can relate to the being shamed since forever.
      It’s take being intentional but sometimes you actually get tired.
      It’s so hard, I’m sorry about that, just know you’re not alone.
      It gets better and it will get better.
      It’s a slow process but we’ll get there.
      If you need any form of support or encouragement, I’m here 🥺❤️

  8. Olaoluwa Aikulola

    I’ve actually never been able to relate to being skinny. And it’s so odd that the westerners have made being skinny something glorified but Africans are so staunch with the mindset that one has to be thick or have enough meat on their bones. Well, they might have to explain that to metabolism or buy us food instead. Because I can’t kill myself to gain weight o.
    This was such a wonderful piece, loved reading it❤️

    • Do you getttt???? I’d never understand that part.
      Not being able to relate wow, you’re part of the lucky 10% that’s if it’s up to 10%🤣😂 but must be nice.
      I’m game for them buying us food💃🏿💃🏿
      😂😂
      Thank you Olaoluwa ❤️

  9. Anonymous

    For someone that has gone through all phases of skinny shaming, I totally relate to it on a different level.
    Sometimes it gets so bad that I just snap and get so defensive, and the next nasty thing that will ooze out of their mouth is “don’t get angry so you wouldn’t break” TF!!!!
    But I’ve learnt to love my body and my self ,Even though it is a slow process, I’m getting there.
    Anytime anybody wants to open their mouth Waaaaa to say nonsense, omo it is gbas gbos level 😂😂, since everybody wants to be mad .

    Thank you for this beautiful piece baby girl ❤️❤️

    Kuye ⭐

    • You will even start thinking something is wrong with you, it’s so annoying.
      Guyyyy I don’t get that, don’t break o”
      Very disrespectful beings, and they’ll tag it as just bants.
      It’s a slow progress but we are moving and that’s what is important.
      Omoooooo we’ll break bottle, are they mad??????
      Thank you baby girl for reading and sharing your little piece🥺❤️

  10. Bisola

    EYIIII. You write sooo well 😍. This is such a beautiful piece. I don’t understand why it’s hard for some people to mind their business. How is someone else’s body your business please? Increase the volume for the people that didn’t hear well 😂❤️

    • Bisollaaaaaaa, thank you so much for reading.
      Tbh the world be a lot better if people actually did that and were a little more sensible and kinder but no savage mode🤦🏾‍♀️
      😂 I will gladly do that.
      Thank you for reading ❤️

  11. Mental

    Omoooooo. Bae you are really doing well, this post will help alot of pple so they know they are not alone. Thank you. To me ooo, skinny gals are the best of all kind of gal, waist is so sweet to grab not like does ones dat both of ur hands cant even cover, and does romantic moments wen u ave to lift babe all dose over weight no dey easy to lift. All dose guys after big ass and hips, something wey go shrink last last. To every skinny bae on earth, yall the best of your kind don’t listen to whatever it is anyone is saying about you.

    • Thank youuuuu❤️
      I think this is also the problem putting other women who have other issues to lift another up.
      Our bodies get shamed too either ways, skinny or fat.
      The whole point is everyone should learn to be a lot kinder and sensitive too that’s why I pointed that everyone should go for their specs.
      Thank you for reading ✨

  12. Anonymous

    Go girl!!! This was a good piece ❤️

  13. Assumpta

    Had me in my feelings
    It felt personal
    You write so well
    Thank you for using your platform for good causes.

  14. As a person who grew up skinny, I relate to this post on another level!!! I think the only people who didn’t body shame me were my immediate family members and some friends. People called me different things like “mama kekere” “smallie” “konkolo” “alenumajeun”. It was quite annoying. Last year, I gained a lot of weight and at a point, I went from wearing UK Size 6/8 to wearing UK Size 10/12. The same people that told me I was too skinny, complained that I’d gained a lot a weight. Now that I’ve lost a lot of weight, they’re asking me why I’m skinny.Madness right?

    I weigh 52kg right now and I’m really enjoying my body nobody should stress me abeg😂😂

    • I don’t know if you remember how we started talking but it was on gaining weight gain struggle.
      The names are so demeaning to me and funny how it has been right from time so they are used to it already.
      ”Alenumajeun” first I’m hearing that.
      Oooooouuuuuuuuu progress 🤸🏾‍♀️👏🏾
      Lmao? Na ment? What do they want? Too skinny? Too much weight? What now please?
      I think this is where self-love comes in and loving yourself cause if you allow society, they will turn you to a puppet.
      Only what you think of yourself should matter, please.
      😂😂 please don’t let them stress you.
      Ayyy Tomi I’m so happy there is progress 🤸🏾‍♀️💃🏿❤️✨

  15. Anonymous

    I didn’t think it was a thing up until a while back and now I’m a little more informed about it. Great piece💪🏽

    • Thank you for reading✨

      • Super_gecko

        Omoooo I have been fat from birth.. my mom said during post natal I was the biggest and tallest amongst all the babies there.. lol said they used to a call
        Me chairman.. well didn’t go well after sometime.. as I grew old ..I got called names.. ball, burger, orobo, fati bom bom .. they will grab my ass and all.. when I was in secondary school.. I was always scared to march cus they will say my butt wiggles .. and at some point I lost weight became skinny .. God I was happy but it didn’t last .. I started adding weight again .. I would look in the mirror and feel sad .. it changed in poly when a course mate told me she like the way I’m built .. thick and tall .. she said “farook you have a nice body .. you thick and tall .. just work on your belly” I got a bit of encouragement there.. although I still get body shammed but.. I get compliments too.. one lady said I shouldn’t try slimming that I look good with my stature.. said maybe I should just hit the gym a bit and that will do.. I think we should just learn to leave people the way they are .. some things can’t be changed .. I gain weight very fast and I can’t beat it.. it’s part of me.. no matter how I try it keeps coming back.. and I have decided to live with it.. guess I took after my dad after all .. Great job for putting it out here ..

        • 😂🤣🤣😂😂😂 this made me laugh so much.
          I love how expressive it was.
          You have had the two sides so I can imagine.
          Oh wow and the annoying thing is that the names always stick.
          Thank you so much for this comment.
          You’re amazing the way you are.
          Thank you so much for reading 🥺❤️

  16. AdejokeO

    You are a strong baby girl Eyi ❤️❤️❤️

  17. Susan

    Omo I could relate to every single thing you wrote. I got the “you’re too tiny, you’re a midget” thingy since secondary school. It affected my self esteem so bad, I used to think I was sick and that I needed help. I would use series of multivitamins but it didn’t change much. People made me feel this way.
    It got better with time. I’m proud of myself, my body and I love me just the way I am. Thank you so much for sharing this Eyilayoo❤️❤️

    Susan❤️

    • Ughh, we will spoke about this a couple of days ago, “you’re so small, I can carry you with one hand”
      People are just unnecessary rude.
      The money I have used on multi vitamins omooooo.
      I love you the way you’re too and I know with time, it’ll get a lot better.
      Thank you for reading for dropping a comment Susan ❤️✨

  18. Susu

    This is absolutely relatable and it’s sad 😢

  19. Tochi

    See I love love love this and please I’m sharing this on my TL Eyi. Thank you!

  20. Tums

    I can totally relate to everything here. There was a time I disliked going for family/church gatherings cause of all the negative comments people made then even my parents became really worried cause I was so skinny. There were days I cried, for a really long time I had zero self confidence. I was underweight for a long time, I remember when I finally got to 50kg/ normal weight BMI and I was excited only for someone to say “how can you be weighing 50kg at your age”. I guess now I can say I’m learning to not allow their comments get to me. Thank you for writing about this Eyilayo.

    • Tumsssss, this affected me too and it’s so annoying that it’s family gatherings were they make the most comments and make you feel so insecure, it’s very exhausting and tiring.
      Please don’t, self love is the best love it’s not always easy but we’ll get there.
      Thank you for reading and dropping a comment as always ❤️

  21. Anonymous

    I’m currently in this phase and it’s so annoying. Like I can relate. It hurts me so bad that I’m always intentional on gaining weight.

  22. Ali

    This is the story of my life and what makes it even more comical is that I like to wear oversized clothes… through it all I’ve come to love myself cos that’s the most important.

    All my sexy bones 😅

  23. Tola

    It’s the don’t starve yourself for me. Hear it very often and these are just things that can’t change. I know how bad I feel sometimes when I see people who were around the same size as I was being very big now. But after a while I realized this is the body I love I don’t like being fat. It was just the shaming getting to me.

  24. Temitope Ogundele

    The funny thing about people that body shame is they can’t handle being body shamed. Before you make negative comments about someone’s body think about your own flaws. Thank you for writing this b. I love your writing ❤️

  25. […] the last week, I wrote on Skinny Shaming and now on fat-shaming, cause it goes both […]

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